a Hippie Bob Tale
What now, is a ques t ion that of ten goes unanswered from an outward so-called real world' perspective . For Eli (fictitious name) he continue d to wander aimlessly throughout his latter years seeking an outward response to suppress the deeply held convictions that lie dormant deep within his soul. A burden is not always some thing that is a physical load, in fact the most powerful burden is the inward kind. Mental anguish, the inward battle between what is right and the grasp for continued happiness. And so Eli continues to choose to do what is right to the demise of all those around him , even the one he wanted deeply in his he art to protect.
Faking happiness is not an easy thing to do, after all your life may hang in the delicate balance of false pretense and inner reality. Some times Eli can feel the inner pounding of his physical body. Could that be his soul wanting to be released? I think so. Choosing to be tolerant of existing circumstances in service to others can have devastating mental consequences. " Oh for that moment when all worry is gone"; he often ponders.
We humans have a tendency to seek solace in ways that physical consequence no longer matters. For Eli it was the delusional numbing effects of alcohol that for wee bits of time he felt cured of both the physical and mental pain. Cocktail hour (in a plural sense) became medicinal and necessary. Eli choose to share this very personal confession so that others may better
understand his dilemma or at the very least to of fer up a confusing maze of thoughts that failed to produce the desired result. Eli is a coward.
Getting back to the title of this short depict ion of sadness, Eli was on his way home the other
day and was seeking his medical refreshment when he happened upon one of his favorite drinking holes. Upon entering the establishment and gazing at the crowd that had gathered he noted that there was NO ROOM AT THE INN. What was meaningful for him was that it was the day before Christmas and all those people standing shoulder to shoulder were all there for a host of reasons but for some SUPPRESSION was the theme for them as well. Yet there was no room for him. Maybe this was a gift, that Eli did not belong at the tavern .
No room at the inn, time to go home...